Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Clean

"Baby, I was out with Jenny."

"No, you weren't. It doesn't matter where you were to me now, but you weren't out with Jenny."

"But I was."

"No, you weren't, goddammit. Do you know what you're doing? Do you have any idea what you're doing?"

"What? What are you talking about?"

"If I can't tell the difference between you and the rest of them, what good is it?"

"What?"

"The lies, the lies, Jesus Christ, you think I won't see when you're lying? What do I do? Huh? What do I do all these hours that I'm gone? Huh? A bird doesn't know flying? A wolf doesn't know killing? I'm not going to recognize a lie?"

"You're so fucking melodramatic!"

"You lie, baby, and not particularly well. There's a look behind your eyes like you're taking yourself somewhere else while you're doing it. You breathe differently, deeper, slower, you think I don't know how you breathe when you talk? After all these years?"

"What, you gonna put me on the box--"

"I don't need the box to see you're lying. Just stop lying; stop lying. Tell me the truth, anything would be better than lies. If I can't tell the difference between you and them, then what good is it?"

"You don't mean that. You can't mean that. What if the truth was something awful, something you couldn't forgive? Huh?"

"It's not a trap, it's not a fucking trap. Just tell the truth. The lies are worse than anything else to me, don't you see that? Nothing you've done could be worse than the lie. It makes you just another liar, just another game to me! You want me to game you? You want to be gamed? You want to see what happens in that little room when I take liars into it and make them sing? Is that it? You're so curious what goes on in there that you want to see the business end? It might take me four hours with a good one, it might take me three eight-hour days in there to figure out a real master. I've been watching you for fifteen years."

"Shut the fuck up."

"You want to try your hand? Really? Should we count to three and start over, and pretend you're not my wife? And see how long it takes?"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"I've been a son of a bitch for longer than I can ever apologize for, but for God's sake, if anything we ever had ever meant a thing to you, just come clean. We can work it out--we can work through it-"

"You don't know what you're saying."

"I do, I do, just listen to me, just tell me the truth, just start with the little things and the big things will come. I wouldn't tell you that if I were gaming you, I wouldn't tell you that, I'd just pull you into it, but I told you, I told you, we can still do this but you have to meet me half way, baby. Tell me where you were tonight."

5 comments:

Tim Akers said...

Hm. Trust is a blindspot.

Splitcoil said...

Trust is about the only thing that can make it worthwhile for people to stay together, IMHO.

And it's not a blindspot if it's earned and never abused, my dear boy.

Tim Akers said...

Sort of a weakness of mine, or a tragedy. Something. I respect people, but trust is something I assume will be taken advantage of. If I actually verbalize it, I suppose is sounds kinda ugly.

Splitcoil said...

More sad than ugly.

; )

Tim Akers said...

Oh, I'm jim-jam dandy-o.