Ladies and gentlemen: The Deadly Firesnakes

"So what you gonna do when you get back?"

"I'm gonna start a band."

"Oh yeah?"

"Fuck yeah."

"What kinda band? Some bitchin' metal?"

"Naw. 'S gonna be dirty acoustic country-folk-blues-core, man. Like spittin' on the floor, tellin' fuckers to get up an' dance kinda music."

"Acoustic, dirty-"

"Dirty acoustic country-folk-blues-core, man."

"You need a acronym or somethin' for that. That's a mouthful."

"An' if the fuckers don't get up an' dance when you tell 'em to, you give 'em a beatdown. Like bam with a mic stand and shit."

"Can people dance to dirty acoustic whatever?"

"Fuck yeah they can. Sometimes you just gotta tell 'em to."

"Shit. What you gonna call it?"

"The Deadly Firesnakes."

"Ain't there already a-"

"Naw, man, I googled that shit. It's wide open."

"Shit, that's cool, man."

"What you gonna do when you get back?"

"I thought I'd buy one o' them new Playstations."

"Cool."

Welcome to Red's Recovery Room

So don't be an asshole. Go to Amazon for a minute, just to listen to a few soundbites off the Clodhopper album, Red's Recovery Room. Here. I'll even give you a link: Bam.

God damn it. You can buy this thing for $3.98 now.

If you don't want to pick through at random, then at least check the clips for Dinah, Walking Tune, Cafe Joli and Red's Recovery Room. That's just a tickle of the sound in this album, which is fucking amazing. I've had this thing for years, and it never ceases to stupify me.

Cafe Joli is, as I and at least a few others have said before, probably the best damned song ever written and recorded. You can feel this song 'just walkin' down the street' wherever you are. If it doesn't put a smile on your face, then bring down the colors and surrender right now, because you're already dead.