The Specialist, Part Two

"What you fuckin' makin' there?"

"I'm makin' eggs."

"You're makin' fuckin' eggs?"

"That's right. It's breakfast, you know. Good morning."

"Fuckin' good morning. Scrambled, or what?"

"Yeah, scrambled."

"Scramble me some fuckin'-"

"I'm scramblin'."

"I'll make some fuckin' coffee."

"Don't make it too strong."

"I fuckin' like it strong."

"I don't like-"

"Add some fuckin' water then."

"Okay, I'll add some water to mine. Never mind."

"Hey, about fuckin' last night."

"What about last night?"

"How come youse shot that fuckin' guy in the hip?"

"I shot 'im in the pocket."

"In the fuckin' pocket?"

"Yeah. In the pocket."

"You shot him in the fuckin' hip. His pocket don't figure into it."

"It's what they call it."

"Who da fuck calls it that?"

"The SAS."

"The fuckin' SAS?"

"Yeah, the SAS. The British guys."

"I fuckin' know the SAS. Why the fuck the SAS call that guy's hip the pocket?"

"It ain't that guy's hip. It's everybody's hip. It's just what they call it."

"That some fuckin' British thing? Like a fuckin' trunk is a, a-"

"Boot."

"A fuckin' boot, yeah."

"Nah, it's just what they call it for shootin' people there."

"They got a special fuckin' name for your hip for when they fuckin' shoot it?"

"Yeah."

"What the fuck they call your head when they shoot it? Your fuckin' hat?"

"Nah. They call it the head."

"So why'd you fuckin' shoot that guy in the hip?"

"In the pocket."

"Are you in the fuckin' SAS?"

"Nah. You know I ain't in the SAS."

"Then you shot him in his fuckin' hip. Why'd you shoot him in his fuckin' hip?"

"'Cause the SAS, they figured it out. It works real well for knockin' a guy down. It's like pow, and your legs just fall out."

"They shoot lots a guys in their fuckin' hips?"

"Yeah. They figured it out, like studied it and shit. They shoot a lot a guys, you know. The Brits."

"Fuckin' Brits. Shootin' a bunch a fucks in their hips."

"It works."

"So why didn't you shoot him in the fuckin' head?"

"I did shoot him in the head."

"After you shot him in the fuckin' hip."

"Well he had a gun. I didn't wanna miss."

"His fuckin' head was bigger than his fuckin' hip."

"Yeah, but a guy's head moves around more. It's hard to hit when you're all fired up."

"You was all fired the fuck up, eh?"

"Yeah, they was shootin'."

"Well, I don't fuckin' like it none, shootin' guys in the fuckin' hip."

"Why not?"

"It's a nasty fuckin' place to shoot a guy. It fuckin' hurts. It's fuckin' excessive."

"Well I didn't mean it excessive."

"Nobody fuckin' means to be excessive. You just are like you fuckin' are, and it turns out that you're fuckin' excessive."

"What about Dulles?"

"Who da fuck is Dulles?"

"John Foster Dulles. Secretary a State in the fifties."

"What the fuck are you talkin' about?"

"Massive retaliation. Dulles said America should respond to any attack with massive retaliation. Like throwin' way more shit back at the Russians than they threw at us."

"Massive fuckin' retaliation?"

"Yeah. It's like a whole policy of bein' excessive."

"Are you the fuckin' Secretary of State?"

"Nah."

"Then don't fuckin' shoot no guys in the hip from now on. And another thing. No more fuckin' History Channel for you."